caw caw motherfuckers


State of Illinois

State sovereignty, national union

"I'm ranked very high on the stroke-ability scale"

Nickname(s): Land of Lincoln; The Prairie State, Corn State, Inland Empire State, Garden of the West, Baja Wisconsin

Admission to Union: December 3, 1818 (21st)

Name: Charlie St. Cloud

Appearance: 25 years old (human years)

State Age: 194 (from the day Illinois obtained statehood, 330’s (from the day the French built forts and became a territory)

Hair: Dark brown

Eyes: Gold

Height: 6'2"

Weight: 215 lb/ 97 kg

Quirks: He throws tables when angry, (which is most of the time), can probably out argue people, (which he sees as a past-time,) has a fondness for cats and black bears. He loves his corn and wheat, and boasts about being number in agricultural production for those two products.


Illinois first encountered the French explorers, Jacques Marquette and Louis Joliet, exploring Illinois River in 1673 whilst hiding in the bushes. Curious at the sight, he ran off to tell his natives what he had seen. A few years later, other explorers built forts, thus claiming Illinois as part of the French Empire.

and then there was a bunch of Midwest territories beating him up when he was younger. Thinks of France as a twat for losing him to England in the French and Indian war. Then he got better the moment he succeeding in making everyone in the Midwest feel like they are failures in life.


Described as being the microcosm of America, he’s that slice of everything wonderful and terrible at the same time. Loud, brash, arrogant, fiercely independent, protective, kind and gentle when he wants to be, grumpy but a funny individual, he’s that jerk with a heart of gold.

Illinois will gladly express his opinions, seeing great fun in being a smart ass to people.. He sometimes has a gigantic ego, so he can be annoyingly condescending at times. He’s trying to make friends but he fails miserably at that too.

He is proud of all his heritage, yet there is one he does not like to completely show; his French heritage. He hides it inside of him, bottled up, but much like his anger it can burst out too.

Certain things may trigger this side of him to come out, changing his attitude to that of a stereotypical French man’s.

Ironically, he can sweet talk and probably seduce very well, but if it goes farther than that; i.e. when it comes to `love, or any other silly feelings’ he actually struggles with expressing his inner emotional thoughts on it.

Because he’s a very strong willed and tough state, he has issues with everyone not taking him seriously when he does become kinder and more sensitive towards people. He gets slightly depressed when this happens, but tries not to let it get to him.

Even if he’s more blue nowadays, he still has those Midwest morals that’ve been ingrained for a long time, along with frowning upon things that don’t agree with his mindset.

He often has a potty mouth, which he learned from many different places and many different citizens that come and go. It slips out naturally, but he’s currently working at curbing his cursing.

He also has somewhat of a short temper, which can cause him to snap at others when he doesnt really mean to, and sometimes after his pride will stop him from apologizing even if inside he regrets it.

But when when his buttons are pushed far too many times, his bottled up feelings often come out in an seemingly unstoppable rage, and often ends up hurting people because of it. He does become horrified when his actions harm others and breaks down when he’s too emotionally overwhelmed. Which brings him full circle to why he’s a mouthy, angry individual. He doesn’t want people to see the vulnerable side to him and think any lesser of him than they already do.

He doesn’t really find himself getting along with the other states outside of the Midwest region, mainly because of the stereotypes they always associate him with. (still, the Midwest states don’t respect him.)

When they think of Illinois, they think of corruption, and a single minded selfish individual with a lot of crime and dirty dealings. Of course, most of those things have some truth to them, but they mostly describe just Chicago, not Illinois as a whole. He does find some offense to this, as he’s more than just ‘Chicagoland’.

He’s also Springfield, Peoria, and the rest of ‘downstate’ Illinois. This balances out as being a nice person to his friends and those he cares about. He doesn’t hesitate to protect them, especially when defending his fellow Midwesterners. (Except that they don’t really give a shit about him or take interest in what ‘noble’ ideas he tries to help them with.)

Yet at the same time, he looks down upon them for not being as ‘awesome’ as he is, and feels some guilt for this since they’re the only ones who acknowledge and care about him. Unfortunately, this belief has backfired on him many times, more than he would like to acknowledge.

How to befriend Illinois:

Illinois isn’t a very friendly state at first, considering that not many people respect him; so he tends to seclude himself. But unfortunately his need for attention will bring him to talking more because he’s trying to impress those who are willing to listen.

At first it seems like he’s just a arrogant jerk, but if people are willing to put up with his ego and actually try and get to know him under the sour outside, they will find out he is capable of being gentle and sweet on the inside, just like the candy ‘Sour Patch Kids.’

Sadly no one has been capable of dealing with him for long, so they don’t know what he can be truly like if they stayed around long enough. But with patience and showing him that being tough all the time isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be, some lucky person could end up with a loyal friend, or perhaps a potential lover.

Things That Can Start A Conversation:

-Cats -Knitting -Corn -Da Bears -Agriculture -His sketchbook (but it takes time for him to talk about that) -His home -His neighbors -His love for musicals -Enjoys talking about landscapes -Reading glasses -etc.


WI: Fuck the packers

MI: Canada Light

MN: Also Canada Light

OH: Who

IN: Fuck you too

IA: Hey friend

MO: Beer buddy

KS: Why do people like us together?

FL: No.

NV: I don't even-

PA: Your wife is a sandwich


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